Day 37: Battle of the beard

So over the past couple of weeks, Mike and I have discussed his beard on numerous occasions. Not because it’s a pressing issue, but most of the time it invites itself into our conversation by either getting in the way of a kiss or getting some kind of food stuck in it. It’s been over two months since it’s seen a blade (with the exception of the scissors he used to trim his moustache since it was curling over his top lip). I’m encouraging a shave and even offered one of my unused, just as expensive, razor blades with built in moisture pads for the deed. He’s declined.

Now if we were home, Mike would rock the beard for winter, and I support anything that’s intended to keep him warm. But here, in the humidity, sun and heat, there’s no need for his chin to be wearing a sweater. I’m so anti it now, that when he gets food stuck in it, I don’t tell him. (He gets mad if he has food in his teeth and I don’t tell him so I figure this might be worse…at least your teeth can hide). I also find his constant stroking of his beard excessive and for some reason the noise it makes (like twisting a brillo pad) slightly irritates me if it’s silent. All I have to do is imagine a cartoon thought bubble above his head and make him look up and it would be as if he’s pondering some deep concepts, like “to shave or not to shave.”

Unfortunately, as we listed the pros and cons of having a beard, Mike can think of more pros than my cons. He claims it works well as sun protection, it saves money on razors, it stops crumbs from hitting the floor, he doesn't have to buy a halloween costume since he can be Alan from the Hangover, and it’s fun to play with. Plus if he shaved it now, he’d look like he was wearing a surgical mask while tanning. My argument is less creative. Getting close is itchy for me and with the curly afro on his head combined with all the wiry hair below his nose, his handsome face is being consumed by a helmet of hair. And it’s not fair to his sideburns that they have no place to call home anymore… alright…that one might be pushing it.

There is a chance that they may be parting ways though as I found out he’s requested Matt bring a beard trimmer. Hmmmm. Could I be so lucky? If not, I hope I don’t have an accident when he’s deep in sleep one night…

So what do you think? Beard or no beard? We’re taking a poll and Mike has promised that this will decide the fate of his beard. You have 8 days to let us know what you think…we’ll be checking in on the comments. I promise I won’t delete any.