Day 15: It's not you, it's me.

It didn’t rain today but it didn’t shine either. It was gray and breezy which was nothing to complain about and it was the first day I was content with hanging around the house. After the amount of effort that was exerted the past two days on getting to town, I was looking forward to just sitting. After a few hours though, I figured it would be a good idea to mix in some movement and took my first jog on the beach since we've been here. I brought my iPod for company but it decided to be lazy and shut off after one song. So I jogged solo with the waves as my music and the path of froth high tide left behind as my track.

When I could no longer see our house or catch my breath, I stopped in silence, completely by myself. I was able to do something I hadn't really done yet...take it all in and really acknowledge the greatness of being here. I began to have a brief conversation (without speaking, I didn’t want to be the crazy lady talking to herself on the beach) with myself and this country. There was no reason we shouldn’t get along during our time together. And I realized it wasn’t all Costa Rica’s fault.

I surrendered to the fact that I may have been kind of whiny, slightly spoiled, a little needy and a bit of a wuss. And maybe it took me two weeks to get the point of the lesson. (You still think this is bad? Wait ‘til you see what tomorrow has in store.) It took a little while, but I got it...

I’m lucky to have the things I have, and although I believe I’m very grateful, I may have taken my comforts for granted. When it comes down to it, I have pretty much all I need; good health, much love and lots of happiness. And when I asked Costa Rica if I could come here to write, she listened. She’s offered a place that eliminated all the distractions that gave me excuses not to write at home. This house provides everything I asked for; electricity, silence and all the time a day can offer. Even though I'd prefer a home that doesn't make us feel as though we've traveled back in time, this is what I wanted and more importantly, what I needed.

I meant no disrespect to Costa Rica with my Diary of a Wimpy Chick. This is a country that does have beautiful things to offer. What distinguishes the past two weeks from other's experiences is that this is not a vacation, it’s an immersion. I guess when you jump in without testing the waters, you sometimes find yourself in over your head.

Now I'm not saying I have to make friends with the bugs or the crabs. And I don't have to enjoy the wicker (there's no way I could do that), the torrential downpours in the middle of a long walk, the bicycle injuries and various types of bug bites. But I can acknowledge how fortunate we are to have this opportunity and to experience the many things (good and bad)that we've already encountered and are still to come. Maybe if I wake up with a brighter attitude, Costa Rica will respond in the same way.